Better Is One Day

I love when God makes sense. I love when He speaks even if what He says confronts me with my weaknesses and my flaws. His rebuke always brings comfort and peace.  This is how I recognize who it is who is speaking, whether the voice is coming from truth or from lie.

One day spent in your Temple is better than a thousand anywhere else; I would rather stand at the gate of the house of my God than live in the homes of the wicked. Ps 84:10

The words of the psalmist are so simple. They confess the love and trust he has in God and when these words were read recently at church even though they touched my heart and my soul I realized I can’t truthfully tell them to God. My heart is not at the place of complete surrender.  Recently,  I have been reading two books: “Prayer” by Richard J. Foster and “Seeing is believing” by Greg Boyd. In both I got struck by the simple truths they deal with; the simple words they use. The psalm and the books made me realize I don’t live ‘simple life’. I filled my head with desires, with hopes of a ‘better life’. Honestly I was and am confused about what my life should be like, what my family life should look like. I gave in to the world around me. And at the same time my soul kept coming back to Jesus words “I came to give life to the fullest”. I kept asking God ‘what is Life to the fullest’?  God again has found me in the place of restlessness. Again I needed to be found because I was lost.

So I had to openly admit before God and myself that I couldn’t speak the words of the psalm with sincerity in my heart. I couldn’t stand with open arms before a big and loving God who knows me and my thoughts and my heart and say “better is one day in your courts than thousand elsewhere”. I looked ‘somewhere else’ and it was supposed to be better. Thanks be to God who loves me too much to leave me in this place.

Just like back in the garden of Eden, God went to out to look for me. And, just like Eve, I hid.

I have learned again that joy and peace can be found only in Jesus and His love for me. Everything that is of my own doing and on my agenda is truly a waste of energy and life. It doesn’t do any good and it doesn’t bring any real joy. I am still exploring what ‘life to the full’ means. But the peace that Jesus’ word and rebuke brings is more than enough to live my life. Right now. Until I stumble again, and fall, and get up, and God will bring me into His presence. Again.