Welcome Aboard.

“….the Spirit also comes to help us, weak as we are. For we do not know how we ought to pray, the Spirit Himself pleads with God for us in groans that words cannot express. And God, who sees into our hearts, knows what the thought of the Spirit is; because the Spirit pleads with God on behalf of his people AND in accordance with his will”. Romans 8:26-27

I was recently on the plane. I also started gluten-free diet a few months ago. For the first time in my life I had to order a special meal on the flight. I made an order while booking my ticket and never thought about it again. Yes, I was a little curious what kind of food I would get. The plane took off, the captain made his announcement and the flight attendants started to deliver food. I was sitting back and relaxing, headphones on, watching a movie without a single concern about what I would eat. A few minutes later a very nice flight attendant showed up with a big smile and asked, “have you ordered a special meal”. I told her had and she handed me my meal of sweet and sour chicken with rice. It made me feel very safe to know that the flight attendants knew exactly where I sit and what I needed. And then I realized that my Father knows EXACTLY where I am and what I need. The only difference is that I keep telling Him what I need and keep reminding Him where I am. It’s kind of ironic that I trust my airlines more than I trust my heavenly Father. I know I should sit back and enjoy life with Him and in His will. He knows me and knows my needs. He knows my wants and my desires. He will grant me the things that will benefit me the most, things that will make me grow and transform more and more into the image of His Son, Jesus. My only responsibility is to listen to Him, remain in Him and bear fruit according to His will.

Desire

“But a person is tempted when he is drawn away and trapped by his own evil desire. Then his evil desire conceives and gives birth to sin; and sin when it’s full-grown, gives birth to death.”               

James 1:14-15

I often wonder how to know if I’m on the right track. I often feel confused when making decisions. I always want to be in the middle of God’s will. But, often being in the middle of God’s will is not the most comfortable or easiest place to be. However, all the wonderful things that the world has to offer appear to be comfortable and easy. So I place myself there. On the outside they look good, but inside they bring death. There is very little life in the ‘easy’ places. A wise friend of mine always says that ‘growth happens in the valley’. There is shadow in the valley, it’s moist in the valley, and it often gets dark. I am naturally drawn away from the valley and want to be on the mountain top. But that’s when evil traps me. I look at things around me and it takes just ONE desire to give birth to sin. Often sin is as simple as choosing something else rather than time spent with Jesus. Not staying in this relationship brings death. Only Jesus claims to bring life in abundance.

Better Is One Day

I love when God makes sense. I love when He speaks even if what He says confronts me with my weaknesses and my flaws. His rebuke always brings comfort and peace.  This is how I recognize who it is who is speaking, whether the voice is coming from truth or from lie.

One day spent in your Temple is better than a thousand anywhere else; I would rather stand at the gate of the house of my God than live in the homes of the wicked. Ps 84:10

The words of the psalmist are so simple. They confess the love and trust he has in God and when these words were read recently at church even though they touched my heart and my soul I realized I can’t truthfully tell them to God. My heart is not at the place of complete surrender.  Recently,  I have been reading two books: “Prayer” by Richard J. Foster and “Seeing is believing” by Greg Boyd. In both I got struck by the simple truths they deal with; the simple words they use. The psalm and the books made me realize I don’t live ‘simple life’. I filled my head with desires, with hopes of a ‘better life’. Honestly I was and am confused about what my life should be like, what my family life should look like. I gave in to the world around me. And at the same time my soul kept coming back to Jesus words “I came to give life to the fullest”. I kept asking God ‘what is Life to the fullest’?  God again has found me in the place of restlessness. Again I needed to be found because I was lost.

So I had to openly admit before God and myself that I couldn’t speak the words of the psalm with sincerity in my heart. I couldn’t stand with open arms before a big and loving God who knows me and my thoughts and my heart and say “better is one day in your courts than thousand elsewhere”. I looked ‘somewhere else’ and it was supposed to be better. Thanks be to God who loves me too much to leave me in this place.

Just like back in the garden of Eden, God went to out to look for me. And, just like Eve, I hid.

I have learned again that joy and peace can be found only in Jesus and His love for me. Everything that is of my own doing and on my agenda is truly a waste of energy and life. It doesn’t do any good and it doesn’t bring any real joy. I am still exploring what ‘life to the full’ means. But the peace that Jesus’ word and rebuke brings is more than enough to live my life. Right now. Until I stumble again, and fall, and get up, and God will bring me into His presence. Again.